it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
