Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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