operation harelip BJ is a go
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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