You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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