He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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