I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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