In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
