so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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