69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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