I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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