We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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