He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
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It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
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We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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