I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
