I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
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ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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