I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
