i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
