had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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