Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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