Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
