But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
