Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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