Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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