i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
