Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
