just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
