Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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