I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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