you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
