He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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