when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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