Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
