Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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