I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
