So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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