so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
