Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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