he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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