Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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