Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
