Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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