apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
