Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
