You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
