Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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