You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
