why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i think i just lost a toe
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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