What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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