Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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