Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
