we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
