I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
