the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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