plz talk dirty to me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
