i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
