Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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