so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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