Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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