Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
