Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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