plz talk dirty to me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
my liver is dry heaving
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
