It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
