I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
