I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
