Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
