i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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