Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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