I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
